he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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