I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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