okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
