Me too!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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