I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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