the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
