Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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