it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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