just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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