What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
