why didn't you poke me back
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
