I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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