Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I bet he comes in French.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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