In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
