You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
