I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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