guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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