i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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