thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
