I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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