Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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