just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
