Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
