My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
