they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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