I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person