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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.

  Fav 11 1549 6499

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (845): View more from New York

  Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.

  Fav 7 3305 1568

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that

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• 

  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.

  Fav 1 912 365

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  These tits shall not be calmed

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