No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious