im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
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He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
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He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.