She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?