Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.

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  (703): in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry. http://tfl.nu/nber
  Replies (2) Good night (4251) Bad night (693)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.

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  (727): i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/7vie
  Replies (27) Good night (3547) Bad night (982)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.

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  (251): I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing. http://tfl.nu/enjf
  Replies (6) Good night (2268) Bad night (1271)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.

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  (360): And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/r3iu
  Replies (6) Good night (2717) Bad night (860)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore

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  (208): Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore http://tfl.nu/7jsm
  Replies (11) Good night (3722) Bad night (913)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors

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  (250): We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors http://tfl.nu/t3jz
  Replies (11) Good night (5184) Bad night (800)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?

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  (248): Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain? http://tfl.nu/gohm
  Replies (10) Good night (2521) Bad night (1078)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.

  (1-808): View more from Hawaii

  Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?

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  (808): Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide. (1-808): Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway? http://tfl.nu/exam
  Replies (4) Good night (1301) Bad night (1816)
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  (631): View more from New York

  im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night

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  (631): im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night http://tfl.nu/im54
  Replies (5) Good night (2795) Bad night (467)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers

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  (484): I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers http://tfl.nu/srrb
  Replies (4) Good night (839) Bad night (504)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text

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  (404): also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text http://tfl.nu/b0kp
  Replies (3) Good night (345) Bad night (519)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?

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  (513): No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand? http://tfl.nu/roqu
  Replies (2) Good night (848) Bad night (272)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.

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  (780): You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic. http://tfl.nu/85dj
  Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (479)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.

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  (303): I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process. http://tfl.nu/smqj
  Replies (1) Good night (471) Bad night (263)
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  (760): View more from California

  I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.

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  (760): I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally. http://tfl.nu/7t3l
  Replies (6) Good night (502) Bad night (286)

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