I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
