Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
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Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
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We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
These tits shall not be calmed