I need help removing her.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
