she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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