Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
