splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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