You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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