I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
