addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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