That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
