allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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