how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
