Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize