dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
