Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
