I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
