Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
