evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I need water and some morals
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize