I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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