There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
