There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
