It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
