Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
