Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
