If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
