Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
