Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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