She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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