Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
