if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
