do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
