break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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