When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
