Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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