shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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